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Ted Kennedy's Birthday Gaffe
& Rose Kennedy's Dental Advice
From Frank Clynes, July 15, 2016

In the early 70's I was assigned to the WTEV-6 Washington bureau, where we frequently covered Senator Ted Kennedy. After one interview, he told us he was attending his mother's 80th birthday party that weekend. As the youngest and last surviving son, he was expected to offer the traditional birthday toast. He wanted to say something clever, and asked us for some suggestions.

I proposed he offer an Irish toast, popular in the old country. It was bound to get a laugh. "Here's to the happiest days of my life; spent in the arms of another man's wife....... Here's to our mother."

Ted laughed and said he was going to use it. Weeks past before we interviewed him again. I asked how the toast was received at the Kennedy table. He said the family was aghast, and had expressed shock and horror. He had forgotten the last part, leaving out the punch line, "Here's to mother." Given the circumstances of the time, they must've thought he was about to blurt out a confession.

A year later, he asked my reporter Susan Schiffer, if we'd like to interview his mother. It was an opportunity not to be missed. Rose had previously been interviewed by Ladies Home Journal, and had said something which was misconstrued. Asked if young Edward had been sad as a boy, his mother was quick to point out, in fact it was quite the opposite. As a young lad, he was very gay.

Rose Kennedy hadn't realized the current usage of that phase, and now the Washington press corps was hounding him, asking if the "rumors" of his sexual orientation were true. He wanted us to go to the Kennedy compound in Hyannisport to set the record straight. It's a fool's errand trying to get that horse back in the barn, but we'd try.

Mrs. Kennedy's house was a typical and simple Cape Cod home, not what you might expect of a billionaire. When she invited us in, she asked if we'd like some coffee and pastry she had just made. Then she went into the kitchen and prepared the snacks.

She was a sheer delight to listen to, and it could have made an interesting one hour TV program. On her living room wall was a framed editorial cartoon, originally printed in the Boston Globe. It depicted John Kennedy swimming in the ocean, just after his PT Boat was sunk by the Japanese destroyer. His teeth clenched around the life jacket strap of one of his crew members, who had been seriously wounded in the attack. Kennedy had towed him in this fashion for several miles, until they reached a deserted island.

Rose told us she always showed this picture to her grandchildren, whenever they came over for a visit. She told them, this was why they needed to brush their teeth three times a day, just like their Uncle Jack had done. Rose Kennedy lived to the age of 104.
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